We’re in Vancouver Tonight!

29 09 2011

Tonight, Chet Watkins is taking part in the 12th Annual Vancouver Improv Festival as one of the invited international ensembles.  The world probably isn’t ready for the intense and raw comedic stylings of Chet Watkins but Jana Schmieding, Christian Paluck and Kelly Kreye will bring it to the world anyway.  If somehow/someway you are in that part of the world tonight you can see the show at 9:30PM at Performance Works in Granville Island Vancouver.

If you happen to still be wandering around lost and a lone tonight in New York City you can catch Chris Camp in the Armando Diaz Experience at the Magnet Theater.  Armando will be the Armando.  Should be a fun show.

In show news, you will be able to catch Chet Watkins every Wednesday in October at 10PM.  We can’t wait to see your grossed out and generally disapproving faces at that late night time.





Friday Night is all about YOU!

2 06 2011

This week we are kicking off Audience Appreciation Month in style.  We will have free beers, prizes, a 50/50 draw.  Aaaaaand!! You, our amazing audience, will pick the two forms we will perform.  We can’t wait to see your smiling faces!





nothing says Friday the 13 like an old time horror radio play!

11 05 2011

This Friday Chet Watkins will improvise a slasher film with a title of your choosing. Why not whet your gore-lust with an old timey horror radio play from Horrorgasm. Guest starring Christian Paluck as Mr. Gruntstock and Laura Grey as the Homunculady.

Horrorgasm Episode 6

www.thehorrorgasm.tumblr.com





Chet Watkins is a Hipster

12 04 2011

Hey all,

Chet Watkins is revealing their hipster persona by performing this Wednesday night at The Brick Theater in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.  The details are below.

You can purchase your tickets here - https://www.ovationtix.com/trs/pe/8920705





chet watkins high school reunion

10 03 2011





2 Year Anniversary!

3 03 2011

Chet Waktins has survived some major events over the last two years.  A total lunar eclipse, withdraw from Iraq, Middle East revolutions, Australian flood, Iceland’s volcanic ash, and an economic downturn that has effected some of our nearest and dearest.  Despite the complete insanity that our world has become, Chet Watkins has prevailed, consistently bringing you to hysterics week in and week out.

Well, we couldn’t have done it without you!  So come and celebrate our 2 year anniversary as an improv team this Friday, March 4th with a hilarious show followed by an insane round of karaoke.  We’ll be providing snacks and treats, and of course at the Magnet there are great beer specials. Here are the details:

Show: 8pm – 9pm @ the Magnet Theater (make your reservations!)

After party: Chorus Karaoke, 9:30pm (RSVP via Facebook)

If you’re wondering what Chet Watkins is like when engaging in karaoke, check out this video:





I rapped with Naughty by Nature

25 02 2011

Before I got myself involved into the world of comedy, I was trying to get involved in the world of music.  There was a long history of amazing bands I was in.  Benny J Wooster and The Crazy Irishmen, Subpar and Los Laundros.  I spanned all genre’s and in 2001 I had my big break.  Naughty by Nature invited my friend Nick and I on stage in the middle of one of their concerts to see if we had what it takes to become musics next sensation like Eminem and Britney Spears.

Nick and I were nervous but we knew exactly what we had to do.  Instead of free styling we would perform a song we would rap between friends while trying to pass the time during summers at Charvale Pool in Burnt Hills, NY.  This rap had proven success over our hometown crowd so it had to work here.  Well we were met with the following reaction.  YouTube paaaa-leaze -

West Coast – the lyrics

West Coast West Coast, Get Yourself some toast.  I don’t mean to boast but I got the most West Coast.

Crusin’ round the ghettos watchin homies get dissed, chuggin down a 40 man I gotta take a piss.  Slammin down a 40, slappin round a bitch, pop a cap and kick his ass and throw ‘em in a ditch.

West Coast West Coast, Get Yourself some toast.  I don’t mean to boast but I got the most West Coast.

But like the contestants on American Idol that sometimes get cut in an earlier season, I will rise like a phoenix and my music career will take off again.  All I have to do is convince Chet Watkins to let me take over our hour long show so that I can showcase my wide range of musical abilities.

Hmmm… well we do have a show tonight at 8pm…

(beep boop ba beep boop… ring ring ring… Hey guys I got an idea!)





New Chet Watkins Review from Improvisation News

18 02 2011

Last Friday night we had a writer from Improvisation News see our show and they had some nice things to say…

“This comic group has a lot of talent and chemistry, which allows them to so effectively play off of one another.”

“What was done so well was the creation of characters and their resurfacing from time to time throughout the show…”

You can see the whole review and others at the Improvisation News Website.





Lizzie Redner: I will eat your face

10 02 2011

Hey ChetWatkins.com’ers – The following is Lizzie Redner’s very first post.  Give her a warm welcome.

-  The Editor

—————–


Hey Internet. Have you ever been through the hell that is quitting smoking? That’s what I’m living right now. Yeah, that’s right. I’m quitting smoking. Today is day one and to say I feel aggravated would be such a deep understatement. I feel like I could snap my arm out and catch a squirrel in my white knuckles and bite its head off like I was biting into a candy apple. No no, my friend. To say I am aggravated would be like me saying that drinking human breast milk in my cereal every morning would be just kind of icky. truth: that is not just icky, it is bone chilling. Truth: I can’t think straight nor can I sit still long enough to make this blog post worth anyones time. So if you are reading this, I’m sorry.

Lets get that out of the way. I am sorry for wasting a minute of the only life you have on this earth. I also apologize for what I can count on being the most aggressive and poorly crafted post ever put on the Chet Watkins website. I’m a nice girl. I am. I’m a good person. But right now, lets just call a spade a spade. Look man, I don’t wanna die. That’s why I’m quitting. Also I don’t want to keep buying expensive eye cream if I am just gonna look like an old map in a few years. I quit a couple years ago and then I thought I could have just one and be OK. And as it turns out that is exactly how everyone else on the planet goes back to the filthy weed. Just one.

I cant write right now. Honestly. They made me do this. I’m the only member of Chet who hasn’t blogged. I don’t know why. It intimidates me and plus I hate the word blog. It grosses me out and I just don’t trust it. Don’t get on me about this right now. I get overwhelmed.  Today I ate my weight in pasta and then had some fucking chocolate and pastries. And some jerk off said, its good you’re trying to quit, but you don’t want to get fat either. To this I replied, “says who?” with my mouth completely filled with scone. Seriously. Says WHO? Oh, and in case I forget, S my D you callous dillweed. I have feelings and they bleed like hell.

OK, so where was I? Oh yes, I have NO FUCKING IDEA. Because my brain right now is like TV static. Or like a close up of a hair follicle. Or the underside of a starfish. It’s Chinese water torture. Can I say that? Too soon? OK, new topic. Today at work I told my boss that when I was in high school I used to buy $2 buds of weed and get blazed during my free period. Which brings me to my next topic of discussion: would anyone be willing to be my personal escort who makes sure I DON’T SAY SHIT LIKE THAT TO MY BOSS? I wouldn’t be able to pay you, but to anyone looking to class themselves up a bit, it would be great experience observing a real lady. I mean a real refined bitch. I don’t know if you know this about me, but I’m incredibly deliberate with everything I do. This shit isn’t even funny. I got fired from my job before the one I have now. You know what the reason was? My shirt was wrinkled. but secretly I think they were just threatened by me because I have such large hands and 12 fingers and I can carry 37 plates on one arm. Not kidding. Once, I ate elephant meat. Once I went to the bathroom in a remote Chinese village in the Sichuan province and wiped myself with paper money cause I couldn’t find toilet paper. Once I made a broth with the wood of a birdhouse, the wings of a scallop and the noble ancestry of Eleanor Roosevelt. One of those stories is true. One is not true. And one is a wish. OK, I should wrap this shit show up. If you have any questions dial 1-800-WIL-LTHI-SBEF-OREV-ERPL-EASE-GODM-AKEI-TSTO-P143.

And come to the show on Friday! I promise not to go near you with scissors!
xoxo,
Lizzie




Jana’s How-To Guide to Sexy Pics

2 02 2011

When taking pictures for any purpose (business or pleasure) it is important to always remember the motto: Sex Sells.  I tell this to my 8th grade students as part of our Persuasion Unit.  It doesn’t matter how ugly or fat a person may be, that person can still use his/her sex appeal to to inform, persuade or entertain audiences.

For this reason it is essential to always have “sexy pics” on hand.  Sexy pics are pictures taken of a person with a sexual tone and/or expression.  There are several ways to develop the nature of a sexy pic, but these are some basic guidelines.

#1:  Take sexy pics whenever you travel. This particular sexy pic session was taken when my roommate and I wanted to do a “The Wire Tour” of Baltimore.  Nice Baltimore hotels are REALLY cheap, so it was great location to take some sexy pics.  For the most part, Baltimore is not a sexy city.  I used my iPhone as a camera for these sexy pics.


#2:  Choose a sexy pose. This sexy pose utilizes the basic idea that I am a large feline growling and scratching at you.  For some reason this pose makes people feel sexy.  There are several sexy poses you can make, many of them are animal poses.  I was inspired by the complimentary cheetah robe that the hotel provided.

#3:  Take a sexy pic in a location that implies sex. This is a picture I took in the shower of our hotel room.  Obviously, a shower is a sexy place.  Other sexy places are (in no particular order): dark caves, dance clubs and janitor’s closets.

#4:  Make an orgasmic face. This final tactic is useful when you have a mirror present.  Some orgasm-faces are very unsexy.  In fact, I would urge most males to NOT use this technique.  If you have difficulty making an orgasmic expression, then emulate the expression that a Food Network host (see Giada DeLaurentiis) makes after taking a bite of their own food.








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